Simple Really
by Sonya-Heather-DeVito
Summary: It had all been so simple really, but James couldn't understand it sooner. James/ OC pairing. Medical Muggle AU. Canon Divergence.


_A/N: Written for the International Wizarding School Championship. I do not own Harry Potter; it solely belongs to J.K. Rowling! _

_School: Ilvermorny_

_Year: 5_

_Theme: Medical AU_

_Prompt: Watching someone from afar (Main)_

_Word count: 2544 (As of Google Docs)_

* * *

His eyes were blank, empty and devoid of any emotion, so much in contrast to his usually expressive and mischievous hazel eyes.

His mind was blank too, trying to grasp the entirety of the situation, and simultaneously contemplating how everything could have been avoided in the first place, had he acted a little maturely.

James watched from afar as the doctors and nurses huddled around her, wiping off the blood trickling down her head and trying everything they could to keep her alive. One nurse was fumbling with the tubes to be attached to her body, another was readying the injections, and the rest were doing god knows what. His eyes though were fixated upon her unconscious form - lying on the hospital bed peacefully - unaware of the chaos surrounding her. Unaware of the thunderstorm raging inside of James' heart.

He didn't know when the doors of the operation theater were slammed shut on his face.

Tiny fingers wrapped around his hand, clutching onto them in fear, and James' gaze turned to his five-year-old son who was looking at him with watery eyes.

"Is mama gonna be okay?" he asked James, his grip habitually tightening on the red and gold lion plushie.

James' heart constricted at that; he didn't know how to answer Harry. He didn't know if Estelle was going to be all right or not. Perhaps she should have been had James not shouted at her and told her to leave the house. Perhaps then, her car wouldn't have crashed so brutally with that giant truck, in the middle of the night. Perhaps the three of them would have been watching the 'The Lion King' at home now. Away from pain and tragedy that had struck their lives.

But, here they all were.

He kneeled down to Harry's level, Lily's eyes staring back at him, and hugged him close, desperately hiding the tears on the verge of falling.

"James! James, where is she?" Sirius' voice boomed through the silent corridor, but none of the others present minded it. James turned around to see him, Remus and Regulus, making their way frantically towards him. He stood up, and Harry rushed into Remus' safe embrace because he was oh so scared. Remus and Sirius stood in front of him, questions clear in their eyes, while Regulus ignored them all and went straight towards the door of the O.T as if trying to peek in.

"James! Say something," Sirius' exclaimed, his patience running thin at the thought of his twin lying bloody and on the verge of death inside.

"She...she," he stuttered through words, "It was raining really bad, and she was going back home. There was a truck coming from the opposite direction, at a very high speed. The driver was drunk," he stopped abruptly, not able to say anything further.

"And?" Sirius questioned, his voice rising in anger and fear, "And what, James?"

Harry whimpered and hid his face in Remus' neck, trying to find some comfort.

"He wasn't able to take control in time, and the truck collided with her car. She was thrown on the opposite side," James breathed out. He saw the colour draining from their faces.

"Oh god!" Sirius stumbled with head in his hands, while Regulus stood speechless.

"Dada shouted on mama," Harry's timid voice rang like a siren in James' ears. "He told her to go away."

Remus looked at him disbelievingly, so did Sirius. Before Regulus could do anything, the doors to the O.T opened and diverted their attention.

"Doctor, doctor how's my sister?" Regulus asked.

"We cannot say anything as of now. The patient is in a very critical condition and has to go for immediate surgery. She has lost a lot of blood. We want to make sure there are no serious head injuries because of the head-on collision or the chances of survival will lower. And we don't want that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for the surgery."

The doctor's words acted like a piercing sword right through James' heart. He never noticed Regulus' fuming form grab him by the collar of his shirt and knocking him in the wall. Harry shrieked at the violent action, and Sirius tried to break his brother away from James, but the latter just put a hand up and stopped him.

"If anything happens to my sister, I'll kill you with my bare hands," Regulus warned him. "Then neither Sirius' friendship nor Estelle's love for you will be able to save you."

James' eyes widened at that. Funny thing was that he'd always known how much Estelle loved him, and how much he meant to her, but he'd always been in denial. Perhaps, it was because of his own stupidity or because of Lily with whom he had a beautiful son. He blamed it on the latter.

His eyes shifted from Regulus' raging grey orbs to the stretcher being pulled out of the O.T, and it felt as if his world had stopped spinning.

Estelle lay on the stretcher quietly; she looked so tiny, so vulnerable, so helpless. The image of him shouting at her, earlier that day, flashed through his mind. It wasn't even her fault.

He remained rooted to his spot as she was rushed to the I.C.U in haste. Her brothers and Remus were right behind her, but James watched from afar as guilt crept slowly through his veins. Only one question swirled in his mind - he'd lost Lily, four years ago, in a not-so-different situation. Was he ready to lose her too?

* * *

She was alive, just about. Her breathing was slow and her heartbeat even slower, but she hadn't opened her eyes yet. The doctors had put her in a medically induced coma, saying something along the lines that it would help her body heal faster by giving her brain some rest. Then they had thrown some technical terms that he'd never heard in his life. So, he took solace in the same reason which Harry was given when he asked when 'his mama' would wake up - that she was sleeping because she was tired.

But, the others knew better, that Estelle wasn't out of danger until she woke up.

James watched from outside the room as Harry poked her cheek lightly, whispering of everything exciting he'd learnt at school. Remus laughed a fake laugh, just to cheer Harry up. Sirius sat on the opposite side, praying to every God there was, to heal his twin faster. And Regulus stood by the window, still eyeing James warily, a warning persistent in his gaze to not enter the room.

Regulus didn't realise though that the reason James stood away from all of them was the regret resting heavy on his heart. Even Sirius wasn't talking to him now.

James broke his weird staring contest with the younger Black when he sensed the doctor turning up for Estelle's regular checkup. Everyone was rushed outside, and out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Harry whispering something in her ears like, 'Wake up soon mama. I miss you'.

On Remus' much insistent, Sirius decided to return home and take a much-needed nap. Remus went towards the canteen to bring something for Harry. James didn't move away from the seat he'd been occupying for the past week - he was exhausted to his bones and needed rest, but he refused to move until he was sure that she was indeed fine.

It was a good few minutes later that he heard Regulus talking to Harry, who was just in his own little world.

"Hello, Harry. Can I sit here?" Regulus asked politely, smiling down at him.

The little one looked at him warily; it seemed that he was still scared of the man who'd shouted badly at his father. But Harry was a smart boy too, his mama Estelle had always told him. Harry knew that he'd shouted at James because his father had made mama cry. So, without any hesitation, he shifted in his seat.

"That is a very nice drawing you've made there," Regulus complimented as he sat beside Harry, and got a toothy smile in return.

"Thank you. I made this for Mama, I'll give this to her when she wakes up."

Though Regulus smiled at Harry's innocent answer, he couldn't keep his curiosity at bay, "Why do you insist on calling Estelle as 'Mama', Harry? She's not your mother." Regulus cringed internally at the bluntness of his question, but the kid didn't seem to mind.

"But she is. She bathes me and cooks me nice food. She tells me dragon and magic stories, and keeps me safe from the monster under the bed. She always gives me hugs and kisses when I'm sick or scared. She takes me to the park every Sunday and then we eat ice-cream. She loves me just as I love her. Isn't that what mommies do?" Harry looked at Regulus expectantly as if waiting for his answer, but Regulus couldn't answer him. And neither could James.

He got up from his seat and moved towards the door so that he could peek in the room through the tiny window. "Please get up soon, Estelle. We miss you."

* * *

James watched from afar as Harry giggled merrily in Estelle's arms as she tickled him; an unconscious and content smile adorned his face at the sight of them.

It's been almost a week since she'd woken up from her coma, a month since her accident, but James still hadn't forgiven himself. She had been in this condition because of him, and thus he'd kept his distance from her, no matter how badly he wanted to take her in his arms and make sure that she was okay.

"You should at least go inside and meet her." James looked beside him and was surprised to Regulus standing there.

By the look on his eyes, James could tell that there were no hard feelings or anger now. James could only read what seemed like sympathy and pity. He thought perhaps it was because how horrible and tired he looked - his usually disheveled hair was even messier and there were bags under his eyes. His whole body ached because of sitting in that one chair for hours, not to mention the constant headache he'd been enduring.

"No, that's okay. I'm quite all right here," James replied and Regulus sighed as if he'd already expected it. He didn't say anything further.

* * *

He peeked inside and found her fast asleep. As silently as he could, James pushed the door and stepped in the room with a bouquet of white lilies in his hand - they were Estelle's favorite.

He walked up to her bedside and put the flowers in the case, as he did every day when no one was in sight. Once done with his task, he glanced at her - her hair was still long enough to reach the end of her waist, but there was a deep cut on the right side of her head where the glass had managed to cut deep in her head. There were scars littering along her arms, and she looked fragile because of the immense blood loss. But she still looked beautiful to him. He wondered if he'll be able to see the sparkle in her eyes when she laughed heartily or would she decide that he wasn't needed in her life anymore.

With a heavy sigh, he turned around to leave, praying that everything could go back to as it had been. Like nothing had happened between them, nothing had changed.

"Are you continuing to stare at me from afar? Wouldn't you talk to me?" Estelle's voice came as the slightest whisper making James stop dead in his tracks. His heart started thudding in his chest just at the sound of her sweet voice.

"Are you still upset with me?"

He turned around, ever so slowly, and all his breath left his body when his hazel eyes met her stormy grey ones. There was no hatred in them though, only fear.

"I'm so sorry, James. I shouldn't have let Harry call me as his mum. I should have stopped him..." her words were left unsaid when he interrupted her by moving forward slightly; the distance between them looking painful to him now.

"Don't you dare apologise for anything, don't you dare! You did nothing wrong. I was the only one who acted stupidly and you..." he swallowed hard and his eyes watered, "You had to pay the price for my mistake."

"No," Estelle breathed out.

"I thought I'd lost you...I thought," he couldn't control anymore. The feelings he'd tried to bury inside of him since her accident, were now spilling out in the form of ugly tears.

He took her hand in his, stroking the back of her palm in soothing circles.

"Then why didn't you come inside? Why didn't you meet me when I woke up?"

"I was so scared when you didn't wake up. You were asleep for so long. And it was all my fault. I should not have shouted at you."

"Please don't say that. It wasn't your fault. It was all that drunk driver's fault and no one else's. Don't blame yourself. Besides, I was never mad at you," she looked at him with a tearful smile; he had a confused look on his face.

"You weren't?" he asked and she nodded with a mumbled 'no'.

"But why? You should be," James spoke with furrowed brows. Estelle had a sad smile playing on her lips.

"Perhaps. Unfortunately, I understand the reasoning behind your actions too well," she looked him straight in the eye when she spoke the next words, "You were afraid that I was trying to take Lily's place. You thought that I was trying to replace her. Am I wrong?"

His head bowed in shame. He hated it that she knew him so well, better than he knew himself.

"But you're not Lily," he said after a long silence. Estelle felt like she'd been punched right in the gut at his implication. She remained shocked and speechless.

"You're _not_ Lily and you never could be," James continued, the expressions in his eyes unrecognizable, "And I never want you to be. You _are_ Estelle Black, my most favorite person in the whole world, my best friend since the stupid school days, and Harry's mum."

"What?" she asked dumbfoundedly and got a silly smile in return.

Without much hesitation he moved forward and cupped her cheek, internally grinning when she started blushing, "You've been mine and Harry's support since Lily died. Hell, you practically raised him alone. I only supported you, and because of you I'm the proud father Harry has today. Lily couldn't have loved Harry more."

"Oh, James!" Estelle covered his hand with her own.

"It was all so simple really, I complicated it," he wiped the tears from her eyes, "I've been so silly, haven't I?"

"Yeah," she laughed and little. Out of the blue, he leaned forward and kissed lightly on her forehead.

"Let's get you all better then, darling. Your home's waiting for you."

She hugged him tightly, burying herself in the safety of his warm arms.


End file.
